My Shoulder Hurts

 

What would my first response be to anyone who told me that? “Suck it up you wimp, mine has hurt for years”.

Yea, I’m kinda a bitch at times, not good with people who make excuses. If I can do it, anyone can so don’t try to find sympathy with me, but when it comes to one of my best friends, my sista from anotha mista, I melt, I am soft.

You need to understand the bond first to understand why she makes me show my human side. Not many can do this, and to be honest sometimes it pisses me off. I am cold, not majorly emotional and I won’t cry in front of many. “You are such a strong person Barbara, how you do it I just don’t know”. Damn right I am, I am a rock and nothing or no one will change that, or so I thought.

In 1998 I got a job working in radio. I was pretty excited about the position. My dream job, doing what I was trained to do. It was really hard being the new kid on the block so I kept to myself for the most part and just did my job. In walks this beautiful, well dressed and perky girl who everyone loved. “UGH” really, nobody is that happy, NOBODY!  This girl was a ray of sunshine no matter what kind of day you had. Always laughing, smiling and will do whatever it took for you to respond to her. Don’t even try to walk past her without saying hello, she won’t have it. Trust me I did that when I first started there, and that is where this friendship started.

Lets fast forward to October 2013. Susan and I have a date for dinner. I am so excited to see her, we have always kept in touch and made it a point to meet for lunch at least once a month. She walks in and I go to hug her and she flinched a little and tells me her shoulder hurts. I was dealing with rotator cuff issues in my shoulder so I felt for her. We chatted about it and she had an appointment with her doctor the following week. It was a great evening and I hated to let her go and see it end, but alas we do have families of our own and I must share her. BOO!

A few weeks later the word is not what anyone was expecting. “MULTIPLE MYELOMA” Blood cancer. What, are they sure? I don’t think that is right I mean you have beat so much, how can you have this? It’s rotator cuff issues, not CANCER!  I didn’t believe it and refused to see the truth and my Susan always kept us in the dark about EVERYTHING. We call her “Polly Anna”, she always has those rose-colored classes on, so we really never knew exactly what was going on with her. So we continue out monthly meeting, chat on Facebook and send emails and text messages back and forth. Everything is fine with her, nothing to report. “I am starting radiation treatments, but I am fine, it’s really nothing”…………

So 2 months ago we are at lunch with our other “Sister” Kathy who is also along for the ride and she tells us we need to spend as much time together as we can before she leaves for her treatment. UHHHH………………WHAT TREATEMENT? Again, she never let us see her pain and suffering so how were we to know, she was more interested in what was going on in our lives. She finally opened up and explained everything that was going on with her. We were floored!

“Whatever you need you let me know, I am there for you PERIOD! No more hiding what’s going on, it’s time for YOU to lean on us.”  Would she do it, probably not, but I had to make sure she truly knew that my words were not just words but gospel. I would drop everything for her. She is my life!

So last month at a lunch she asked me if I would help her parents with being her caretaker while she was at the Mayo Clinic  for the next few months. Damn Skippy I will, what do you need, just say the word I am there! So begins the journey and the reason for this blog. I am human, yes I said it, I have emotions that are going to be put to the test and I don’t like that. I will laugh with her through out and crying, that is not an option.

I will leave in a few days to be with her for a week. Sitting by her side in the hospital while they start the “Harvest” of her stem cells. Will Polly Anna show up, yea she will, will I buy what’s coming out of her mouth, NOPE. Will we laugh together, we will, will we cry together………sigh try as I want to say no, we probably will. In the long run as I stand by her side I will be constantly reminded of just how much I love this woman and how honored I am that I am one of the few in her close circle that have been asked to walk beside her as she prepares for this journey.

SHE really is the strong one.